Disclaimer: This piece is not about developing a pleasing personality. There are a lot of differences between becoming a pleasing personality and becoming a people pleaser.
Seeing someone original has become so difficult these days. You might not like the thought, but we all are influenced by our environment in some way or the other. Just look back and ask yourself “Am I original?”.
How to identify a people pleaser?
In my short stint (28 years of life on Earth), I have realized that many people I have hanged on to are not even relevant now. We all would have met these people and have spent a lot of time trying to please them. Sometimes, they don’t even care, but we try and hang on to them. We do things that we don’t normally do, we make their interests ours and are ready to do everything they want us to do. We listen to all their drama and sometimes take it to our heads. All this at a cost. And the cost is, losing chunks of your originality. So, we all are/were people pleasers at some point.
Looking at the other side of the spectrum, there are people whom we can rely on. They rub their energy on us and influence us to be a better version of ourselves while not losing the chance of “being an original”. They don’t carry and come. They don’t keep their emotional baggage on our heads. Simple, easy, and straight at your face. Just that, it takes time to know and realize who these people are (reminds me of a scene from the movie “Avatar” where Jake has to find his Ikran from Mountain Banshee, and the first step towards finding it is being attacked by an Ikran).
Now pause for a few seconds, and think of the personality you wanted to become and the personalities you are surrounded by. I’m unable to put it in an equation because of my own share of problems with Math.
Stay safe! Take care!